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Broken. [
Posted on September 06, 2011 @ 1:52 pm
]
[ mood | numb ]

Old Habits Die Hard



Im Sorry. I've had a bad day again.

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The rant is yet to come...... [
Posted on November 13, 2010 @ 10:22 pm
]
Hello LJ.

I forgot about you.

Am I in need of a rant??

Yes.

Am I too sober at the moment?

Yes.





See you again in an hour or two :)
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[
Posted on November 01, 2009 @ 10:13 pm
]

Love is just a hoax so forget everything that you have heard </3





























I won't speak
I won't cry
I won't admit I feel broken
& lost
& feel so pathetic just for feeling like this.

I'll just smile
& pretend that im okay.
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bleugh [
Posted on October 12, 2009 @ 1:19 pm
]
If you looked Inside a girl;
you would see how much she really cries,
you would find so many secrets and
lots of lies but what you'll see most is how hard it is to stay strong

when nothing is right and everything is wrong
 
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[
Posted on September 14, 2009 @ 11:59 am
]
[ mood | pissed off ]


I refuse to let you drag me down again.

I’m in a good place now

I’m happy

With wonderful friends

& I have long moved on from you.

 

But when yr standing in front of me like that

Screaming at me.

I fell like that stupid pathetic little 16 yr old girl again

& I hate you for that

 

You are just fucked up beyond repair.

You are poison

You kill everything you touch

& I’ll be fucked if i’m gonna let you destroy me again.

 

 

 But you did remind me how wonderful my old friends are

And helped me realise how much I love my new friends to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you were to disappear

Do you think anyone would even care?

 

 

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Tequila Is My Saviour [
Posted on August 14, 2009 @ 3:55 pm
]
The water is rising.





But I'll drown before I cry for help.
















































I feel so alone.

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[
Posted on August 03, 2009 @ 4:47 pm
]
Fuck it.



































*waves white flag*
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[
Posted on July 23, 2009 @ 11:10 am
]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Each and every time I turn around to leave
I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed
So desperately I try to link it with my head
But instead I 


fall
 
back to my knees
As you tear your way right through me
I forgive you once again
Without me knowing
You've burnt my heart to stone























I guess you can change the place.
But nothing else.


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Yes I can. [
Posted on July 06, 2009 @ 3:19 pm
]
[ mood | optimistic ]

I just figured some things out.
I’m going to fix some things.
Get some things back
Start feeling some things again.
& Bob the builder myself up.

Because you never know how long its really gna last.

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Splendid. [
Posted on June 29, 2009 @ 1:15 pm
]
[ mood | giddy ]

Today a number of things are causing me to smile in bounce...

Paula getting into her course has to be number one!!!!!!
Also how drunk I was on Saturday is making me smile!
& the fact I woke up in the barmans bed :D
And Im meeting Rory to get high & got the VIP on Wednesday!


I like this week

xx

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rantabular [
Posted on June 26, 2009 @ 11:18 am
]
[ mood | busy ]

That last post may have been heavily influenced by a combination of PMS, a hangover, looking at old pictures and perhaps the fact was leaving......


......love lj rants

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I see you through wanting eyes. [
Posted on June 24, 2009 @ 3:33 pm
]
[ mood | drained ]

Seriously.
How fucking retarded is it.
That secretly
I really miss you
Even though I never really had you.



I dont fall for people.
Ever.

So how can you still be in my head.
& I had you out of my head
well blocked.

So why did you have to ring me today :(


Sometimes
when I actually stop & think about things
& stop just flying through life in a whirlwind
Which isnt very often
I realise
I dont like me very much.

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Im a rock. [
Posted on April 03, 2009 @ 9:22 pm
]
[ mood | tired ]

I wonder how Im supposed to feel
When you're not here?
Cause I burned every bridge I ever built
When you were here.
I still try holding onto silly things
I never learn.






Fuck.
Im such a stupid fucker.

Give me 12hrs.
I'll be bouncing.
& skipping.
& being that wonderful pillar of strength
that everyones grown accustomed to leaning on.

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[
Posted on October 08, 2008 @ 6:58 pm
]
[ mood | depressed ]

Its easy to block stuff out for yrs.
To not let anything hurt you.
To drink 7 days a week
& Smoke til yr lungs are lined with resin.

But eventually it catches you.
& then
Instead of hurting a lil

It fells like a fucking knife












































& I guess its scary
how you wish the knife
would press a lil harder
& cut a lil deeper
& make everything disappear

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[
Posted on February 16, 2007 @ 5:05 pm
]
[ mood | depressed ]

my need for a self-pitying rant has brought me back to livejournal.
Fubu has moved out of the flat. We are still together but just not living together. So i am very crap and lonely. Veryveryvery lonely. Although i know my loneliness is all my own fault due to what a wanker i used to be. If it wasnt for my lil kitty i would probably be going completely insane. It's just really crap cos i didnt want him to go but if we didn't take a bit of time apart we wouldnt last another six months. We both just need to figure out what we want from life, careers etc. & we see eachother constantly when we live together and we majorly take eachother for granted. Oh well. Its only for a month or two. Although its only the first week & i'm finding it supremely hard. life=verysucky.its only now that pete is gone & i have no one to turn to i realise few friends i have.
I feel a bit better after that rant.
On a final note, i just had one of the most bizarre experiences ever. I just found out my great uncle gerod is a stoner and just smoked a spliff with him outside.
life is very strange indeed.
xo

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my head hurts. [
Posted on October 29, 2006 @ 5:15 pm
]
[ mood | hungry ]

last night i was the sexiest kitty ever. i had a super pretty skirt my mummy made for me & it was all leopard print & tu-tu like. twas tres cool. i got quite drunk & was very nice to lots of people that im normally mean to. although i did scream and try to beat up some wank who spilt a pint of guiness over me & didn't apologise or anything.
oooo and i got my kitty. He is called Boo and he is super tiny & cute & he is my new best friend. Pete and i are going to view some houses next week in an attempt to get out of shitty dunclug hostel flats. *fingers crossed*

i miss amy lots and lots. Halloween just isnt the same without someone to play with me with sparklers. i hate Newcastle. Newcastle stole my amy. Bastards.

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[
Posted on October 04, 2006 @ 10:29 am
]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Last week i quit my job, got very drunk in the grouse & danced in the street with fubus mums next door neighbour (don't know why i was in the grouse though!?!), i found a new job with less crap & more money, my auntie had a baby girl & apart from some breathing difficulties is all okay ( which is tres cool as my auntie was like having contractions from 20 weeks!). Other stuff probably happened aswell but i can't remember. So i'm going to stay at my aunties from monday the 9th until Friday the 16th. Can't wait, but am going to miss Fubu ALOT. :(
I need someone to be bitchy with. I haven't had a good old bitch in aaages. Fubu is really crap at it. I think one of the necessary requirements for being bitchy is a vagina.

xo

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worksucks. [
Posted on September 25, 2006 @ 10:57 am
]
[ mood | frustrated ]

eugh.
i now actually have to do work.
it sucks.
This weekend was well shit. Everyone got Drunk. Fubu was a wanker. Stacy was drunk & crying & punching people.Sean beat up a bin. I screamed alot. Mainly at Fubu. I didn't think i was that drunk, but i keep gettin crazy ass flashbacks that i have no memory of.
& the bloody dole didn't give us our money. so now i have to spend my lunch hour in the disgusting shit hole that is the dole.

i hate mondays.

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miaowpurrrrmiaow [
Posted on September 20, 2006 @ 9:11 am
]
[ mood | excited ]

im getting a kitty!!!!
it's black with a lil white bit & we have to wait like 5 weeks and then i get my kitty!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
i want to call it pepsi but fubu won't let me cos his old dogs mummy was called pepsi or something stupid like that. but i don't care cos i'm gettin a kittyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
i'm so excited. :) i'm bouncing like my froggy.

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[
Posted on September 18, 2006 @ 12:26 pm
]
[ mood | gloomy ]

I had quite possibly the most eventful & the most shite weekend ever.
Friday night pete got super drunk [i was drunk to, but i'm nice when im drunk. he's not] and was a complete ass. He even went outside the flat and started screaming at the police to arrest him. And on saturday morning it was pretty much over between us, but then we decided to try again, cos everything is super fantastic when he is sober, and even when we're drunk it's great. It's when fubu gets way way way too drunk that it all goes to pott. & it's even worse if i'm drunk as well cos i don't have the sense to back off. i just wind him up even more. But it's all okay now. Well.... it's okayish.
AND THEN...if that wasn't enough for one weekend. I was babysitting my two wonderful, amazing, unbelievably gorgeous little sisters, and they were playing with their friends down the road, and i went out to call them in for their dinner. I just spotted Olivia when she ran across the road to see her friend and didn't notice the car. It skidded & screached And missed her by about 20cm. She just stood their giggling and then burst into uncontrollable tears. I dont know who was worse me or her.

It was one of those weekends.
Those weekends suck.
Will someone buy me a jew in a jeep???

xo

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